Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
