at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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