Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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