bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
