if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
