I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
