i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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