I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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