a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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