I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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