Me. At least after what I've been through.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
