forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
