Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize