just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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