The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
