He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
