she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
