Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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