we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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