The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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