I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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