You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
