My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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