return my video game
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize