This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
