Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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