Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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