I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
