Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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