You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
