Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
