Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
