oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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