Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
