Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
