You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
