i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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