3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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