I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
people are starting to question the shark bite story
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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