No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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