We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
