Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
