woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
