saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
