you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
