We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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