Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have tasted many bathrooms
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
