R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I cannot find my penis.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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