Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
All the doctor said was why
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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