is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
bring money and cleavage
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
