this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize