I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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