C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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