I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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