I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Drunk is not a location!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
