When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
