They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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