so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
