her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
