is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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