Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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