wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize