Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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