I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
